2010-03-10

• Ahhh, politics…this guy cut his girlfriend's face with broken glass, then dragged her to the hospital. Now he's running against Those Godless Homosexuals, and declaring his opponent doesn't support family values: [1]
• What these parents do to their daughters almost ranks up there with female genital mutilation: [2] (More proof that people worldwide are taught to hate women…)
• Is Internet access a basic human right? [3]
• Tired of all those comments that science hates religion, this astrophysicist founds his own religion based on science: [4]
• Wilmington, North Carolina hookah bar fined for violating the state's new indoor-smoking ban: [5] (This story is worth it for the picture alone.)
• Private school in Watertown, Wisconsin bans "South Pole" brand clothes for teens because they could be mistaken for South Park: [6]
• New York City parents to protest the city's new ban on bake sales for school fundraiser by holding a bake-in at City Hall: [7]
• Members of Congress are warned to avoid the Drudge Report: [8] (For the record, I don't read the Druge Report; I've never been a fan of that site.)
• Backdoor found in Energizer Duo USB battery charger: [9]
• Florida is finally doing something about teachers who boink their students: [10]
• Colorado hates ads with boobs: [11]
• Georgia legislator introduces a bill to give authorities the right to request that sex offenders be kicked off of Myspace and Facebook: [12]
• Seven Muslims arrested in Ireland for a plot to kill the author of one of the Forbidden Muhammad Cartoons: [13]
• Ave Maria University (in Naples, Florida) has a new employee dress code that requires women to wear skirts and dresses only: [14]
• German publisher fights back against Apple's ban on sexy apps: [15]
• How the DEA scrubbed Thomas Jefferson's Monticello poppy garden from public memory: [16]
• Cop who drew his gun in a snowball fight gets a 10-day suspension…and not because he drew his gun: [17]
• The U.S. government is preparing a safety warning about those popular and fashionable infant carriers that parents can sling around their chests to carry their babies: [18] (I like to say to parents, "Excuse me, m'aam…I think you should know, you have a baby growing out of your chest.")
• Waterboarding for dummies: [19]
• Remember that girl who was selling two ghosts on eBay? They ended up selling for nearly $2,000: [20]
• Ford unwraps new security features to prevent hackers from breaking into your car's onboard computer: [21]
• Breast milk cheese: [22]
• Remember those ads for Lifelock where the company CEO plastered his social security number to the side of a truck in broad daylight? [23]
• Some folks will do desperate things to get high: [24]
• Never mind back-alley abortions..what are we going to do about the epidemic of back-alley silicone ass injections? [25]
• A winner in New York City's condom wrapper design contest: [26] (Hint: "We're gonna turn it on…we're gonna give you the power…")
• This kid is going to go places when he gets out of jail – he doesn't just pass around nude cell phone pics of his girlfriend, he sells them for $5 a pop: [27]
• Oh noes, homosexual marriage is now legal in Washington, DC! What are you going to do about it?!? [28]
• Want Google to give free wi-fi to your town? Name something after it: [29]
• Those national census forms you're getting in the mail are the first census since the September 11, 2001 attacks. Know what that means? [30]
• Amish farmer wins the right to refuse to register his livestock with the state, because it's against his religion: [31]
• The bizarre religious roots of the Abortion Tweeter: [32]
• Another religious-marijuana court case ends up in the usual manner: [33]

Picture of the moment:

• A tutorial on how to spray-paint your own tongue: [34] (And if you're dumb enough to actually do it…)
• How Americans are portrayed in North Korea: [35]
• This is what getting your vagina Vajazzled looks like: [36]
• "Buy American Pot:" a special message from the AMGA, dedicated to keeping pot illegal and profits high: [37]