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Alliance Defense Fund

The current wave of religious hysteria sweeping the nation – fueled by President Bush and his "faith" and "protection of marriage" initiatives – has sparked a wave of religion-based court cases that have taken on every controversial issue you can think of. What's more, this flood of religious legal bulldada has resulted in boom times for the Alliance Defense Fund, a hard-core religious law firm that's appeared in nearly every one of these cases…and raked in legal fees and income by the barrel as a result.

The ADF claims it was founded in 1994 as a "one-man" operation by Alan Sears, though it has since grown into what is seen as a "Christian response" to the dreaded American Civil Liberties Union (darn them and their un-Christian activities in defense of Those Godless Homosexuals and atheists!).

The ADF claims to have won three-fourths of all their court cases, thanking God all the way for their victories: "God has granted wins in almost three out of four cases decided (John 15:5). Cases that strengthen our position in the battle for religious freedom, the sanctity of human life, and traditional family values." Those three phrases sum up the organizations goals, and it highlights and categorizes them on its Web site. "Religious freedom," including the dreaded conspiracy to steal away Christmas and homogenize it in the face of political correctness…"Sanctity of human life" (with, of course, a picture of an unborn child to emphasize this)…and "Family Values." As a quote from their Family Values page states, these guys staunchly oppose such evil, vile actions as:

Oh, no! Poor, innocent children are being exposed to evil, disgusting, perverted sex education materials! Better call in the ADF right away and STOP this madness!