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ET Corn Gods

In 1985, a guy named George R. Simpson was visited by extraterrestrials. These alien visitors gave him an amazing insight into the workings of the Universe: namely, the idea that there is a hidden language embedded in the English language, and when this hidden language is decoded, the wonders of life will be revealed! Three guesses as to whether this guy ever read The Bible Code…yes, you guessed it!

The secret method to decode the hidden language involves the use of five tables:

Somehow this all links to the Mayan Corn God, Yum Kax. I say "somehow" because the translation tables mention Roman numerals and the Bible, but there's no mention of Mayan numerology in there at all. According to George, the Mayan civilization (or at least their religion) somehow relocated to India, and this shows us the relationship between God, Man, and extraterrestrials (ETs). George's Web page states: "Religion, the ET's, UFO's, other mystical things are put upon earth as a 'God Sting' to show us our worst traits as human beings."

George coded his language system into a video game and released it for free on the Internet. The download is 28 megabytes in size, mostly because it's compiled from a large Microsoft Access database.

(It certainly doesn't help that George chose a poor name for this game. Quite often when the reader opens his mouth to say "Corn Gods," he ends up saying "corn dogs" instead.)

Unfortunately for poor George, he bit off more than he could chew when he decided to take his language-decoding project to the skeptics. He announced his game on James Randi's message board, expecting to be greeted with praise and congratulations. Instead, the folks there (who are known for being quite sarcastic) raked him over the coals and laughed in his face. So, in the manner of all self-respecting kooks, what was Mr. Simpson's response to this? He filed a lawsuit against the James Randi Educational Foundation. As we all know, the proper scientific method dictates that when your feelings are hurt, the thing to do is try to silence your critics.

You can read George's legal complaint here:

And you can read or join the ongoing flamefest over this affair at James Randi's message board. They've even got a subject tagline devoted to George R. Simpson there.