The Seven Deadly Sins are:

PRIDE -- ENVY -- GLUTTONY -- LUST-- ANGER -- GREED -- SLOTH

Experience them ALL at:

X-Day XI: THE ELEVENTH INVASION

: Directions and Cost
: Events
: Chat Room
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: "There are powerful energies we might call 'Slack Rays,' or ORGOZMONIC RADIATION, which are produced by so-called 'deviant sex.' Only a strong dose of this 'SexHurt Fallout' can push that Yeti gene into domimance. Any time you indulge in 'deviant' (that is, fun or forbidden) sex, you are generating beneficial 'Slack Rays' that will trigger the Yetigenetic eruption of any child currently being conceived by ANY couple within the area, no matter how Pink that couple may be." – Revelation X, page 78

: "I thy GOD JHVH-1 hath given thee lusts that I may reap their fulfillments. N'g! N'g! F'tagn N'n!" – Prescriptures 27

'X-Day is coming!' The Blessed Day when the Alien Sex Goddesses shall at last arrive on Earth and proceed with THE RUPTURE! All card-carrying, Truly Ordained, PAID UP SubGenius Ministers shall be SNATCHED UP into the Cosmos to spend Eternity (or at least the Journey to Planet X) engaging in a VAST ORGAZMONIC RITUAL OF SEXHURT!! After SIX MILLION YEARS of persecution, discrimation, and torture at the hands of the Conspiracy, we shall FINALLY take our place at the right hand of JHVH-1 and HAVE OUR REVENGE on the ones who have made our lives a SHEER, UNENDING HELL!!!

The Apocalypse begins on July 5th, 2008…

...and it will last FOREVER!!

(Not only that, but the SEX will be fantastic, too!)

AND YOU ARE INVITED!

The Church of the SubGenius is preparing for the end of the world (again), when the Pleasure Saucers of the Sex Goddesses will arrive at the designated landing site on X-Day – Saturday, July 5th, 2008 at 7:00 AM! We'll be gathering once again at the designated landing site at Brushwood in Sherman, New York, beginning on Wednesday, July 2nd…and continuing for ETERNITY! We'll be celebrating the end of the world with one big NON-STOP PARTY!

The greatest mass exodus of human beings on the doomed planet Earth is the Hajj, the Islamic pilgrimage to the city of Makkah in Saudi Arabia. X-DAY IS THE SUBGENIUS HAJJ. The journey to X-Day is a religious pilgrimage that will take us to the end of the world – and beyond! THIS IS TRULY THE ROAD TO HELLE!

YOU ARE COMMANDED TO COME AND TAKE PART IN THE FESTIVITIES. This is a religious ritual that all members of the Church of the SubGenius are required to accomplish! Not only that, but those of you who've survived the X-Day celebrations of the past ten years will know that this is the best damn festival of the year, BAR NONE.

If you and your mates, friends, and whatever want to get on stage and perform with a bunch of naked freaks, mutants, and weirdoes, then just pack up your gear and COME ON UP to New York for the action! This is your chance to get it on and cut loose! It's non-professional, so you won't be paid for it, BUT you'll be taking part in a five-day naked party with hundreds of participants. Audience participation is ENCOURAGED, nay, it is REQUIRED.

X-Day is an event with NO corporate sponsorship, NO so-called "professionals," and NO commercialism (except what you provide yourself). It's just five days of music, beautiful naked Sex Gods and Goddesses, and PURE SLACK. Fuck Woodstock. Fuck the Dork Tour. Fuck Lolla-pa-losers…

...and ''FUCK 'EM IF THEY CAN'T TAKE A JOKE!''

Praise "Bob!"

Plus: An Appeal for Reverend Magdalen

July 2008