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Lil Markie

Quite possibly one of the strangest things you'll ever hear. Lil Markie put out a handful of Christian records, which isn't so awfully strange, of course, there's loads of those. There're even loads of Christian Records put out by characters, like Little Marcy, say.

But Lil Markie is different.

Lil Markie's special.

See, where stuff like Little Marcy is just a ventriloquist dummy spreading the word (How does ventriloquism work on an LP, anyway?) Lil Markie's a ghastly sped up voice. Sort of like the Chipmunks, if Dave Seville were completely fucking batshit. Another major difference between the Little Marcys of the world? She'll typically do relatively straightforward songs and pieces about how much Jesus Loves You or whatnot – and Lil Markie will do those, too. But, where Lil Markie tends to diverge – he's not afraid to take on the more unseemly aspects of the world in which we live.

One of his most famous songs is "Diary of an Unborn Child". The first half is creepy, but relatively straightforward – it's a spoken word bit that's a diary of the development of a fetus. "Oh, good, my eyes are coming in! When I'm born, I'll be able to see my mommy, and she'll be beautiful and wonderful!", etc. It takes a weird turn when it turns out that Lil Markie's mother gets an abortion…. but, oddly enough, that's not the disturbing part. That comes right after this, when Lil Markie goes into a song.

A song called "Why Did You Kill Me, Mommy?":

Why did you kill me, mommy
When God made me special for you?
I really wanted to see you
And put my little arms around you.
Why did you kill me, mommy
Because I thought you really cared for me.
And I wonder what I would have grown up to be?
I guess I’ll never know, 'cause mommy, you killed me.

Lil Markie also did "Story of an Alcoholic Father", probably self-explanatory. It's similar to Jack Chick's magnum opus Somebody Loves Me, in that it's basically about a father who gets loaded and beats the shit out of their kid. In this one, though, there's a glimpse of redemption as the dad initially kicks the bottle and goes to Church… until his wife dies, sending him back on the sauce. And, oddly enough, Lil Markie dies in this one, too (sorry for the spoiler!) – I'm not sure what that says about Lil Markie's psyche in that he seems to be Kenny for Christians. — Actually, I just re-listened to this one, and it's even more fucked up than I remembered. Basically, yeah, the father's an asshole who gets loaded and beats folks up, and he has the falling-away from the Church, but instead of what I was thinking (the mother dying, the father has the relapse and beats Markie to death, sending him to Jesus, thus warning of the dangers of alcohol) it's much weirder – the mother's alive, the father falls away from church and says he hates god, Lil Markie prays that he would do anything to get his dad Saved, and so he wakes up with a tremendous chest pain! They call in the Christian Doctor, who confirms that Markie's gonna DAH, and so, he calls his folks in to tell them and says that he's going to JESUS who's his best friend ever, and he'll see his mommy again, but he'll never see his daddy again, because he hates god and all that, and as such, after Markie croaks, the daddy CONVERTS again. So, basically, Jesus killed Markie in order to Save his father! That's… a little… odd, don't you think? Not only that Jesus offed a kid, but that he thinks that that's a great way to get someone who hates him to stop hating him! So, remember, if someone hates you, just kill their kid, and they'll love you! This one also ends in a song, but not nearly as creepy of one as "Why Did You Kill Me Mommy?"

The 365 Days Project has another couple of Lil Markie songs, but these are of the straight-forward Christian Record variety, though "Big House" is surprisingly rockin'.

Also: A LiveJournal Interpretation of "Diary of an Unborn Child"

Apparently, Lil Markie is actually Mark Fox. He used to have a page here, though it looks like it's gone down. Also, Otis F. Odder of The Bran Flakes put up a self-made best of a long time ago for about a month; I downloaded the entire thing, but ended up losing it, which is too bad. I wish I could find that again, or rather, the contents thereof [EDIT: I JUST FOUND IT! Expect an update soon!]. Most of the rest of the tracks were of the straightforward variety (I remember one about a tree that was happy that it could be chopped down and be used for the cross on which they crucified Jesus, though), but there were a few other winners. Very, very strange.

Actually, WFMU just posted Otis F. Odder's compilation here! So, check it out, and download 17 tracks of Li'l Markie… somethingarather. Along with a QuickTime(!) of Mark Fox doing the bit!