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Mission Earth - Voyage of Vengeance

If this book is "science fiction at its very best," then I'm ready to give up the genre and read nothing but cheesy soft-core romance novels for the rest of my life. As L. Ron Hubbard (or the Scientologists assigned to ghost-write this dreck for him…Hubbard died in 1986 and it is widely believe this series was finished by other writers) realizes that even he can't fill this series up with any more subplots, we get several hundred pages of filler before the series finally turns in on itself and resolves things in the next book, Disaster. The so-called "voyage" of this voluminous corpse of a book involves our "hero" Soltan Gris, as he is trapped on a yacht with Teenie Whopper the teenage nymphomaniac; the two of them take a sea tour of the Mediterranean Sea and resident countries in a fashion that mirrors L. Ron Hubbard's own voyages through that area. (Between 1967 and 1975, Hubbard fled capture on his own ship, the "Apollo." The tell-all book L. Ron Hubbard: Messiah or Madman? chronicles his voyage on a yacht manned by his servants dubbed the "Sea Org," the elite of Scientology. He spent time sneaking around the Mediterranean, visiting the same areas mentioned in this book – the Bahamas, Morocco, France, Italy, Greece, then back to Turkey – occasionally coming ashore, and hatching plots to expand Scientology in the Middle East and Africa. Most notable was his attempt to take over an African nation!) When Gris screws up and blows Teenie's plan down the drain, he finally comes back home to oversee his seemingly endless mission to disrupt Jettero Heller's plan to save the Earth. Heller finally breaks the plans of J. Warbler Madman, and we're treated to a lovely scene in which the passengers of a 747 airliner are mercilessly slaughtered by aliens, while Soltan Gris cheers them on.

"Science fiction at its best?" If you've managed to make your way this far, then be assured that the next book, Disaster, actually gets down to some real action and is a lot easier to read than Voyage of Vengeance or the SIX paralyzingly slow-moving books that precede it.