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Hallelujah Diet

Vegetarians choose to eat only vegetables (and sometimes fish) for a number of reasons, ranging from health and nourishment to cost. Vegans choose to eat only vegetables because evil, meat-devouring human beings are murdering innocent animals. But this only scratches the surface…for with the Hallelujah Diet, the truth of vegetarianism is revealed. GOD IS ORDERING YOU TO EAT ONLY VEGETABLES!

Yes, it's true! The founders of Hallelujah Acres declare themselves to be a "non-denominational Christian ministry that provides education, products, services, and other resources to help people everywhere understand and practice God's ways to ultimate health." They're working to free us all from the evils of modern-day processed foods, and they're determined to make us all healthy based upon the Book of Genesis. A reading of the Book of Genesis (as long as you take it literally, in the spirit of all true Creationists) reveals that we humans were commanded by God not to eat animal flesh. Never mind the fact that we're born with incisors and canids, and that meat is actually very healthy when prepared properly and not overindulged (like all other foods). The makers of the Hallelujah Diet are imploring us to eat only vegetables so that we can be good Christians!

Dare we doubt them? They even offer a 60-day challenge in which they outline their master plan:

"A diet free of animal-based foods may seem like the latest trend, but really it’s the oldest one in the 'book.' After creating mankind, God’s first instructions regarding human diet are:
"'And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat [food].' Genesis 1:29 (KJV)
"There’s nothing in God’s original diet about eating the animals, milking them, or eating their eggs. In recent years, modern science is increasingly proving what the Bible had right all along. That is, a diet based on whole, plant-based, living foods in their natural state provides all the protein, calcium, vitamins and minerals the human body needs.

(Maybe we should just eat the pages of the Bible directly, so that we can feed right on the Word of God.)

And these guys are looking to grow into the big time. They're even working on the construction of their own health compound, a full-scale living center with condominiums called the Villages of Hallelujah Acres.