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The Anti-Anti-Smoking Conspiracy Page

Don't let the Conspiracy fool you!!

There are many who have been duped by the Conspiracy into believing that smoking tobacco is hazardous to your health. Health scares such as this are a powerful tool of the Conspiracy, which it uses to manipulate public opinion and in the process suck Slack out of the population. Let us remember that our Leader, J.R. "Bob" Dobbs himself smoked a pipe. While some will insist that He only smoked Habafropulops, this has never been confirmed. Some who have actually met "Bob" before He was assassinated distinctly recall seeing Him load His bowl from a freshly opened pouch of Troost Aromatic Cavendish. True, "Bob" could have had someone make up a pouch of Frop that looked like a pouch of ordinary pipe tobacco, but the question is why? Habafropulops is not illegal to posess. Why would "Bob" try to disguise its appearance?

No, the simple fact of the matter is that the Conspiracy wants you to believe that tobacco products are evil, at least for the time being, strictly for the purpose of stealing your Slack. Mark my words, the Conspiracy plans to reverse its stance on the health hazards that it currently perports smoking to incur. They have already done the same thing with eggs, a staple of the Yeti diet. First the Conspiracy said that eating eggs was tantamount to jumping in front of a speeding bus. It created fake egg substitutes and told the public it should eat that nasty stuff instead if it knew what was good for it (which it only thought it did). This went on for years, causing people to worry inscessently as to whether various prepared foods contained any real eggs in them. Some people were so traumatized by this Conspiracy propaganda that they even developed a phobic reaction to the sound of real eggs frying! More recently however, the Conspiracy changed its stance on the health risks of eating eggs. Now they say that there is good cholesterol and bad cholesterol, and that eggs contain mostly the good kind! Those chain jerking bastards! The Conspiracy will do anything it can to make life more difficult, to whip people into a pointless rage, and to make people shudder with fear over the scarecrows that it sets up and points to as devils. Then, once it has successfully gotten everyone's panties all bound up, it changes its propaganda and tells everyone that the scarecrows they made are our friends! What better way to suck the Slack out of the population?

Well friends, I say it is time to put our feet down. I say it is time to tell the Conspiracy that we know what it is up to. I say that there is something that we all can do to thwart the Conspiracy's attempts to make our lives inconvenient. First, you must go to FORCES International[1] and look through their evidence which exposes the Conspiracy's lies about tobacco. Then you should write to your local politician/conspiracy liason and inform them in no uncertain terms that you know what they are up to, and that they cannot fool you any longer!