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The Rapture Report

It used to be that nutjobs like this had to type their screeds out on paper and drop them at the local public library. But thanks to the miracle of the Web, they can make fools of themselves in front of the entire population of the world!

Such is the case with Alan Yusko, who's put a great deal of effort into throwing Bible quotes at his chosen enemies: "occultists," cults, Harry Potter, Dungeons & Dragons, and The Lord of the Rings. Yes, it's true – D&D is still an evil Satanic trap, a good twenty years after the anti-role-playing hysteria reached its peak in the 1980s. Then again, I think this guy is still stuck in that decade, because he's only written one sermon about the evils of ''Pokemon'' and "Magic Cards", while he goes on and on and on about Harry Potter and Tolkien.

Every single one of the dozens and dozens of essay's he's written on the evils of "fornication," rock music, and Bible prophecy places an emphasis on our living in The Last Days Before The Rapture. And gosh darn it, everyone on the face of the earth is falling to temptation in these final crucial days before The End! At this rate, the only one left to enjoy the Rapture when it occurs will be Yusko himself. Hmm, do you think he might be intentionally shaping it that way?

He also maintains a page of links to sources of information on what he terms "cults, false religions, and deceptions," namely Islam and every well-known Jesus cult from here to Armageddon. Based on the sheer number of links, it's easy to see that this guy really hates Benny Hinn and Kenneth Copeland; there are multitudes of links dedicated to these two televangelists (but no commentary on the links, dammit!).

Yusko's ravings against "the occult" were good enough to rant him an entry at the Pagan Protection Center, where they make a point of calling him on every reference to the Bible.