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The Satanic Network

Satanism is so mainstream among the mediocretins who claim to be "rebels" that anyone who tries to take this stuff seriously just shows how ridiculous the whole thing is. What's more, any Christians who take these Satanic guys seriously are even dumber than that. The problem is, unlike the Church of the SubGenius, these guys think Satanism is SUPPOSED to be taken seriously, so the only way to get anywhere in this thing is to suck up to a bunch of Anton LaVey groupies who think tattooing a pentagram on their ass is a way of sticking it to the Conspiracy! Whatta joke! You can be sure that the REAL Satanists are the ones who follow the original CONCEPT of Crowleyism, by adapting it to their own philosophies. It doesn't help that this site, supposedly the crown jewel of Satanism on the Net, is ridiculously boring. Ooohh - a CGI picture of a naked woman! Yeah, that's really blasphemous!

To be fair, Anton LaVey is dead; so if The Church of Satan really was about being someone's lacky, it would have disintegrated by now, since many people find it difficult to suck up to a corpse that has been cremated. Since Crowley himself vehemently denied being a Satanist, it is absentminded to say real Satanists are Crowley-nistas. It is also useful to remember that there are still billions of the retarded who do consider nude women blasphemous, and a good portion of that would gladly stone everyone involved with that picture. Beware the false Satanists, they believe a little red guy with horns and a tail bails hay with a pitchfork in a flaming pit somewhere in fiction land. Anyone that can take that seriously is not a Satanist, that person is a nut!

The original Satanists, following in Anton LaVey's footsteps. An ever present embarrassment to The Temple of Set.
Now you too can find your very own Devil-worshipping mate!
Michael Aquino's breakaway group, following the "true" path of darkness. An ever present embarrassment to The Church of Satan.