Did you ever notice that kook websites are inevitably one, massive, rambling unbroken page?
From that I have developed the Reverend Zapanaz kook index meter. You take the whole page, copy it, then paste it (paste as unformatted text) into Word. The number of pages long it is is that pages kook index. The higher, the weirder.
- 3-4: Not always a kook, but usually. This could just be really bad formatting by an inexperienced web designer, but usually this is somebody who at least has difficulty stopping once they've started.
- 6+: Definite kook. This is somebody who, at the least stimulus to their kook circuit, sees IT, IT being their particular kook specialty. And they don't get why you don't see IT. IT's so clear! Just read my web page! Kind of person who if you met them in person would be a lot like their web page; on and on and on about IT.
- 10+: WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP! Danger, Will Robinson! These pages are inevitably jammed together thickly, with footnotes and paranthetical observations and weird leaps from one subject to another, boxes jammed in to one side or another, and following what they are trying to say is like trying to unravel a large plate of spaghetti. This is the web site equivalent of a lunatic on a street corner yelling gibberish endlessly. They have an ON button, but no OFF button. The kind of people who, when you see them on the street, you just know that if you even make eye contact they will start up.
Note: incomprehensible diagrams, symbols and charts count as +2 on the kook scale. Documentary support (quoted emails, scanned documents) which, when you actually read them, only make the author look crazier count as +1.
is a very respectable 11. I have to give it a plus one for these two footnotes though:
- 6. xxx
- 7. xxx
…is one of the great masterpieces of kook-pagery. A TWENTY-FIVE on the Zapanaz scale. WITH a +2 for incomprehensible diagrams.