Brutarian Magazine, Vol. 1 No. 4 (1992), page 38
Tired of working for a grinning buffoon who pays you only a fraction of your worth? Frustrated at having to come home to a spouse who grows alarmingly bigger every day and seems to have lost all interest in sex? Feel as if you're being manipulated by an insane and vengeful puppeteer in a travesty designed solely for the purpose of degrading and destroying you?
Well, if you answered yes to any of the above, then The Church of the Subgenius has a message for you. It is the Slack Gospel according to Bob Dobbs which says unto those who will listen that the secret of life is to make mountains of money with as little effort as possible. And if you have to make a lot of effort, then you're probably doing something wrong. In other words: STOP BEING EXPLOITED AND START EXPLOITING! Oh yes, I know, you're saying to yourself at this point: "Exploiting? Isn't that a terrible thing to do to somebody?" No, no it isn't, you foolish acolyte of the morally bankrupt, hideously hidebound and insidiously inane Judeo-Christian ethic. An ethic that teaches you to sit still while your government taxes you to death and sends your children to die in cities whos names they cannot even pronounce and gives you as a reward for your pathetic obeisance: The Super Bowl! Use these individuals for your own ends, treat them like dust unto your feet, for they are the dead who walk.
Go ahead and take their money, kick these insensate beings in the teeth; they won't feel a thig. Soon you will have a mountain of money in which to frolic and many new and interesting friends to help you spend it. What kind of friends? Well, people like yourself, people who communicate with aliens and worship money, people who do not worjk so that they might live but who live so they may play. Reverend Dobbs calls these people: Subgeniuses.
But why am I telling you this? You read Brutarian which has been heartily endorsed by the Church as "crucial to your understanding," which means that you have in all likelihood long since mutated into a Subgenius although you may not know it yet. For you, the hysterically funny Arise video will merely confirm what you already know to be true: all information disclosed by authority IS WRONG and all activity that feels like work must BE ABANDONED. With knowledge comes irresponsibility, buy this video and send it to your parents. It will help them UNDERSTAND you and give them second thoughts about writing you out of their will.